Happy Birthday Levi!!

3 years ago today, (well, today when I was writing this) I was lying in a hospital bed at Huron Valley hospital, nervously awaiting the arrival of our first baby. We knew he would be a boy, and we knew his name would be Levi. We never could have guessed the joy this sweet boy has brought into our lives.
He was born at 6:07pm on November 3oth, 9lbs 10oz. A big chunky, healthy, beautiful boy. It does not seem like 3 years have passed since that day, but I'm sure it never feels that way.
In October, I posted 12 things I love about Mason, because he was 12 months old...so here are 12 things about Levi that I love (I thought about doing 36, but who wants to read that many??)
1. He loves to sing...he sings all the time, "As the Deer", "You're Enough for Me", the alphabet song, the list goes on and on...
2. He loves to play instruments. He makes drums out of anything he can, and he loves the drummer at our church, Mr. Matt. He plays Chris' keyboard whenever he can
3. He never crawled until his 1st birthday party. He did an army crawl for 12 months and on the day of his first birthday party, he picked himself up and crawled around the house.
4. He's only 3 years old and has already been in Oregon, Washington, North Carolina, Missouri, and all the states in between..he is a well-traveled little boy
5. Levi is a 100% daddy's boy, and I love that! (OK, sometimes I am slightly jealous of this fact)
6. He recognizes Michael Phelps when he's on Tv, even if he's not swimming...we were olympic obsessed this summer
7. He was in the 90th% at birth and is now in the 10th!
8. He's 3 years old and wears size 18month clothes!!
9. For the most part, he's a great big brother...for the most part
10.He can say the entire "Pledge of Allegiance"...which I can't even spell
11.He loves to read books, his favorite is a book called "HO HO HO Tucker", which is about a dog named Tucker (which is our dogs name)
12.He leaves a lasting impression on people...sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always memorable.

I leave you with some pictures of my sweet Levi, I love this boy!!! I can't wait to see how God will use his love of music, or even if that love will stick around.

How God's working on me...

I have been convicted over the past week about the words I speak. I mean, majorly convicted. In one of those things that only God can do, our message on Sunday was all about the words we speak! Saturday night I was asking Chris where the passage that says "out of your mouth your heart speaks", or something. Can you imagine on Sunday when up on the screen pops Matthew 12:34 "...Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks..." can you just see me slinking further down into my chair as I feel God working on my heart?
I do not keep a close reign on my words, I hate to admit this, but I love to gossip. I am also extremely sarcastic, and I love to get a laugh (you're not surprised, are you?). The combination of gossip, sarcasm, and "humor" sometimes lead my words to be less than desirable.
One of the best examples of this is the way I talk about my children. And a very specific example comes from our small group on Thursday night. Someone asked me how the boys were and my immediate response was "annoying, but good". A while later we were marveling at how cute another group baby is and I said, "Oh I love this stage, then they get to my boys age and YUCK!"
I don't really mean those things. I love being a mom, I really do. And I love my boys, and all that they are. When I say things like that and hold it up to Matthew 12:34, I feel a need to do a heart check. If what comes out of my mouth is truly a reflection of my heart, then "change my heart O' God.
Another example of this is the way I talk about Chris. So often I say things to get a laugh or out of pure sarcasm, but they in no way show him respect or are uplifting to him. I always assume that people know I'm being sarcastic, but lately I've found that's not always the case. Again, I love my husband, I'm proud of him and proud to be his wife. But my words aren't always showing that.
I don't know if you've ever experienced a Sunday where you just know God is speaking to you, but oooo it is uncomfortable. And after that experience I feel so much more accountability to think that what I'm saying is a reflection of what my heart is, and to keep my words in check.
If you want to read more about this topic, some other verses that have been speaking to me are:
Matthew 12:34-37
James 3:1-12
James 4:11-12
Ephesians 4:29

November?

Yes, that's November with a question mark. How in the world did we get into the middle of November already? Time is flying, and I know that by me saying that, it makes me "old", but I can't seem to wrap my mind around how fast time is passing (or seeming to pass, I guess).
Things have been quite busy in the Gray household. We went Trick-or-Treating with Chris' brother and his family (that is so not the accurate description for them...it should be with my best friend and her family, who happens to be Chris' brother and his family) and the kids loved it. Levi was a dinosaur and Mason was a frog. Levi went right up to the houses and said "Trick or Treat" and thank you, it was so fun watching him do it. I thought it would be so over his head, but he got it. Mason just stayed in the stroller and observed, but he looked good doing it.
Chris has been doing a lot of traveling for work, which makes for long days for me and the boys, I don't realize how much I depend on him until he's not here. For conversation, for a break after dinner, for bed time help, etc... We always manage, but I prefer him home...well, mostly I prefer him to have a job, so I won't complain.
I am just short of hitting 35lbs. lost! I don't know who even reads my blog anymore, so I've been hesitant to blog about my weight loss, but it's my blog, so if you don't like it, stop reading! My hope is to stay between 30-35lbs through the holidays and then in January try to loose the last 15-20...well, not all in January of course! I'm kind of addicted to exercising, which I never thought I would say. I exercise 5 times a week, doing cardio one day, then sculpting the next. I love it, I love how I feel after especially.
I've been working with a team of awesome women to put together a Christmas Outreach event for women. It's been so fun getting to know these women at our church and seeing how God has made us all so differently, with different talents and passions, yet together we can put together something so cool! (Ummm...I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible somewhere :D )
I hope things are going well for you during this busy time. I still haven't heard about that baby, Mel...is he here yet? And what is his name? And how are you? And how is big brother?
Enjoy these days, they're going fast! (Maybe that's because I've been going to bed at 9:00 every night...I'm so old!)

Happy 1st Birthday!

See this guy? He turned 1 on Saturday! Man, oh Man, has time flown by. It seems like yesterday that I was waddling around trying to find my toes wondering if this was going to be Aubrey Paige or a boy with a name we hadn't figured out yet.
Mason LOVED getting into the cake! He had no reservations about picking up the entire piece and shoving it in his mouth. It was awesome...and messy!
Then he got thirsty, and decided he was done, but ohhh he was a MESS!
This was taken on Saturday before his party, just on our day at home.
Since Mason is 1 year old, 12 months, I wanted to take time to write down 12 things (pretty random things) that I think/love/pray for about this sweet boy. Remember, I'm his mom, so I'm quite biased...but it's MY blog, so I can be!

1. His first smile...I can see it so clearly, I was rocking him and nursing him in the morning and Chris came over to say good bye before work. As soon as Mason heard Chris he pulled off, looked up right into Chris' eyes and smiled. It was the coolest moment. There's something about the first on-purpose smile...and I didn't mind at all that it was for Chris!!
2. He loves to eat!! He is mommma's boy all the way on that one. This kid gets crabby if he's not in his highchair around breakfast time, lunchtime and dinner time. Yesterday I was at Panera bread with a friend and Mason reached right over to my try grabbed the 1/2 french baguette and started gnawing on it. This is after he ate 1/2 a grilled cheese; 1/2 a fruit cup; grahm crackers and bites of my soup!!!
3. He has a great personality at this age. This weekend we sang Happy Birthday to him 100 times, and every time we would start singing it he would stop whatever he was doing, smile a big smile and start clapping. He really has a great temperment and a fun outlook to his little world.
4. His eyes. They are truly the windows to his soul. They shine when he's happy, darken when he's angry and open really wide when something frightens him. Plus they are about the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen on a kid!
5. The fact that he's 1 and still has no teeth! I don't think much of it until I see our little friend Maya, who is 4 months younger and has quite a few teeth.
6. He loves cars. He will crawl around the house with a car in his hand for an hour at a time if nothing else distracts him. He pushes them on the carpet, carries them in his mouth, whatever it takes to have a car near him, he'll do it...any guesses where that comes from?
7. His pacifiers. If it's not a car, he's got a paci in his mouth and one in his hand, I've seen him have 2 in his mouth at one time, and now his favorite thing is to hide them around the house, which is no fun at all when he needs one for nap or to go in public, but it is funny to see all the strange places he hides them!
8. The way he mimicks things Levi does. Yesterday Levi was on the floor playing his little drum, Mason was watching him from a distance, then crawled over as soon as Levi walked away, sat down just like Levi was sitting and played the drum. Of course Levi flipped out, but Mason was cute just the same!
9. When he was 3-7 months he had the best hair. I called it a "baby-hawk" because it looked like a puffy mohawk right in the middle of his head. Now he just has a big boy haircut..
10. He was such a bad sleeper in the beginning. I remember thinking I'd be sleeping with this one until he was 10...
11. He's a GREAT sleeper now. 12 hours, in his crib, 2 naps, in his crib...PHEW!
12. We got off to such a bad start with him. The not-sleeping, the post-partum depression that led to me saying so many bad things about having him and ending up being away from him (and Levi) for a week..it was rough, but we survived, and I think I always look at him and think..."we conqured it!!! We're fine and it's all behind us!!"
I can't wait to see the life this little boy leads...he's such a treasure!

Reuniting

I have to admit, I have become completely addicted to Facebook. I log onto my facebook page at least 5 times a day...which is because my laptop is always on and I'm always wandering past it sneaking a few minutes at a time online.
I love Facebook because it has given me an amazing opportunity to reunite with some people I honestly thought I'd never have in my life again this side of eternity. A year after high school I spent a semester at a Bible School thats main purpose is to train missionaries for tribal missions. During that time I made some intense freindships and then when I left, as time tends to do I lost touch with those friends. Thanks to facebook, I've reunited with a few of them and been able to catch up on their lives.
A year after my semester at Bible School, I packed up my white Ford Aspire and moved to Ozark Christian College in Joplin, MO. I lived in Dennis Hall on the first floor and I was a complete spaz surrounded by the most unforgettable girls I've ever met. Thanks to Facebook these girls: Lori; Eskai; Aline; Amy; Bridget; Kim; Laura; Becky; are now in my life again. I feel like over the past year I have seen their children grow (Lori and I have 2 boys, pretty close in age to each other), prayed for them, and laughed with them over old memories.
I only spent a year at Ozark, but my life was altered because of my parents divorce during that school year, and these women...who were just Godly girls then...pulled me through an overwhelmingly difficult time. I will never forget conversations and hugs and tears as I tried to understand what on earth was happening with my family.
I have to also give a shout-out to My Space because that's how I hooked back up with Melanie, my most faithful blog reader and commenter! We went to High School together, were sandwhich artists at Subway together, and I held a secret grudge against her because I was convinced she wanted my boyfriend and our fellow sandwhich artist Brian! (Sorry, Mel, the grudge is long-gone, but I figured it would add interest to our story :D ) Melanie is getting ready to have her 2nd son any week, so pray for her as you read this!
Anyway, I am now hoping to be able to actually see and laugh with these girls again really soon, and watch our kids enjoy each other and remember some of the craziness we shared. When that happens, It'll all be because of Facebook and Myspace...

A NEW kind of Friday Night Fun!

It wasn't all that long ago that I was determined to have weekends filled with going out with friends, having friends over, or going to friends houses. Then...came my family! While I still REALLY enjoy nurturing our amazing friendships, I am learning to enjoy our family time so much more.
This last Friday we let Levi stay up past 8:00, Chris lit a fire and the 3 of us shared popcorn and played Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders. It was so cozy, so peaceful, and so much FUN!
Times like this are when I really feel God's ACTIVE presence in my life. While we were all sprawled out on the floor I could just hear God saying.."I love you so much, I heard your prayers, knew your dreams, read your diaries...and while in YOUR time it took a while to get here, my timing was perfect..and all of this...because I LOVE YOU!"
Here are some pictures of our game night! And since Mason was in bed, but not to leave him out, I included a picture of him too!

A funny memory!

Tonight was our first night of small group, so today I was preparing the house for the babysitter(see previous post about cleaning out the junk drawer). While I was doing so, I was thinking of all the babysitting I used to do, how much I got paid, (1.50/hour, a good family paid 2.00/hour), and some of the terrible kids I got stuck with. This one memory came to mind and I've been laughing about it all day.
In high school I worked at a day care, and would often make babysitting jobs from day care clients. This very eccentric family had moved from England to the US for job reasons, they lived near my family, and their kids went to the day care I was working at. One Friday night, my friend Jill came along with me to babysit at this families house. We were hanging out while the kids were sleeping and looking for some movies to watch...you can see where this is going, right? They had this big grandfather clock in the living room that had a drawer in the bottom, Jill pulled it out to see if there were movies in there...oh yeah, there were movies...porn! a drawer full of porn! We were probably 16 or 17 and Jill and I were the funniest 2 girls to find porn, because we were so clueless. For the rest of the evening we would peek in the drawer and make fun of the covers...I mean, neither of us had seen a naked man before, so to us this was HILARIOUS!!!
We didn't watch or even want to watch any of the videos, but can you imagine what it was like for us to have to face this couple when they came home. We were so immature and clueless, we could hardly keep straight faces while talking to them.
That memory has been buried for about 12 years, and today it came up and I've been laughing about it ever since...
In case you're wondering, my biggest fear was having the sitter find my good chocolate...

Feeling like a "real" grown-up

Levi will be turning 3 on November 3oth, and for the most part anytime we've needed babysitters it's been one of our parents, or a few times some church girls have come to watch him for an hour or two. I've never had to "hire" a babysitter that I didn't personally know, and have that first call talking about the boys, their schedule, etc...until tonight.
Our small group is going to be meeting on a night that my mother in law can't watch the boys (as she has in the past) so we decided to look for someone who could drive to our house on Thursdays to babysit. We didn't have to look too far, our small group leaders' daughter is available and going to do it for us. I've never met her before, so tonight I called her to give her the scoop on the boys. (Group starts next week).
Maybe this all seems weird to me because I was a babysitter all through high school and college, and it just feels so backwards to be the one saying, "Well, we have 2 boys, Levi and Mason, they go to bed at this time and do this, this and this...we'll be paying you this much..."
Hmm...as I type this, it sounds funny, but I really felt like a "MOM". You know? Maybe you don't, maybe I'm just being weird about it. But in my mind it feels like a year ago that I was the one listening to the mother drag on and on about bed times, snack times, diapers, and MOST IMPORTANTLY...how to work the remote control! And now I'm her...
Man...I was a really snoopy babysitter, too...I'd better go clean out the mail drawer...!!

Here are some pictures! I have totally slacked and have so many on the camera that I need to upload and print. We are still completely lacking on pictures of Mason up and around the house!!

GRRRRRRRrrrrrr

Nothing can ruin a day faster than...
a) Your 2 year old throwing a tantrum right after breakfast that lasts long enough for
b) Loosing your temper with your husband, who is just trying to get off to work so that he can provide for your family...which all leads to
c) a gigantic headache

Here's hoping your day is better than mine...and mine gets better after 9am

PS...Chris I'm sorry!!
PSS...Just as I was going to publish this, Levi came over, on his own, and said, "I'm sorry, Mommy. Sorry for crying"...there's hope after all!

Catching Up!

It's been a while since I've posted, but things have been quiet around here, so there's not much to blog about.
I've been engrossed in the series Gilmore Girls, on DVD. I have gotten the entire series and have been plowing through them season by season. I love the show! I saw glimpses of it when it was on TV, but found it annoying. A few of my friends have been trying to get me into it, so I figured the summer tv season was terrible anyway, and got started. It reminds me much of The Office (Coming back next week!) where you have to get involved in the characters and their quirks to catch all the humor. Anyway, so I've been watching that every chance I get.
I'm loving this fall weather. I went outside with Chris and the boys last night, and it even SMELLS good outside. I even really enjoyed the rainy weekend. I felt so cozy inside watching the rain fall. We had some friends over on Saturday night and had fun talking, eating, and drinking late night coffee.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back at Starbucks...mmmm...The Biggest Looser starts back up tonight, I'm going to watch it at a friends house tonight (probably makes me a big looser) with her...Grace Commerce(our Church) is finally in our new building and it looks awesome! I could (bur really already have) write an entire post about how much I love our church and it's people! ...Sonic, the best fast food on the planet, with the best drinks ever (vanilla dr. pepper!!) is moving in next to us, I"m so excited about that!
The kids are napping now, laundry is going, I've already worked out today, so I'm feeling strangely free right now! My next post is going to be a bunch of pictures that I've been meaning to post, all of the kids, of course!
Hope all is well with you, and your feeling the same contentedness that I'm enjoying in this season.

The 6th Love Language

There is a pretty popular book called, "The Five Love Languages" written by Gary Chapman. I've read the book a few times, and the premise is that each person has a dominant "love language" that they use to express their love to others and that is the best way to express your love to that person, the way that lets them know you love them. The "languages" are Physical Touch, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service.
A friend and I were talking about the book the other day and she asked me what my love language was. I said, "I don't know, it seems to change every time I read the book." I've been thinking about my love language since that conversation...and I think I've had a major revelation!
I'm pretty sure there is a 6th love language and it's....FOOD! And undoubtedly it's my Love Language. The following is a list of examples to support my theory, I'm considering e-mailing Mr. Chapman to tell him he needs to update his book...forward dedicated to MOI of course (or he could just send me some chocolate:D)
Examples: 1. My best friend Lindsay likes to drink the occasional Coke. They don't buy it because they don't drink it enough, so they don't usually have Coke in their house. Any time Lindsay and I meet at the park with our kids, or I go to her house, I bring her a Coke. It's my way of showing her that I care enough about her to bring her a "treat" that she doesn't usually have.
2. I LOVE it when Chris surprises me with going out to dinner or ordering in. Us going to dinner, or ordering in makes me feel special and loved.
3. Some of our friends from church were having their daughters wedding this past weekend. I had this plan to bring them some Bagels, a carton or two of soup and some pastries from Panera bread to their house so they would have some quick and easy food at their fingertips in the midst of all the chaos. It was my way of showing them that I was thinking of them and caring for them. (It didn't happen, but that's another post all together)
I have many more examples of times when either I have used food to cheer someone up, help them when they were sick, or just let them know that I care about them. On the same token, I have many examples of times when someone has brought me a meal and I have received their love in great ways.
What do you think? Is it possible that food is the undiscovered 6th language of love? What is your love language? Your spouses? How do you meet each others language?

Life-changing relationship

When I was 15 years old, the church I grew up in hired our first Youth Pastor. At the time I was enjoying the fact that my parents said they would never make me go to church, so I wasn't going. On the first Sunday that Kyle and Cari Detmers and their young daughter, Chelsea came to church, my parents came home and said that I HAD to meet this guy, I would really like him.
So I went to church and met him and his wife, and that was the beginning of a relationship that has impacted me in ways that I will keep learning until eternity.
Yesterday, I went to that church, which is still like "going home" to me, and celebrated in sending Kyle, Cari and their 3 children off to Marquette Bible Church, in Marquette, MI. It was such a sad and draining day for me. The service was awesome. The celebration was great, and I think that the Detmers family was truly honored for their service to God.
I just had SUCH a hard time saying good-bye to them. I haven't seen them much since I've been married and moved out here, but I always knew where to find them. I always knew they would be there if I needed them for any reason.
When Chris and I were working with the Student Ministry at our old church, people would ask why we were doing it, my answer was always .. "because my youth pastor had such an impact on me, I want to do that for other students". We don't work with students any more because of our family, and the demands it would be on our time. But I hope that the time I did spend with some of the girls impacted them somehow.
One of the things I said yesterday during the service was, now that I'm a mom, I really understand the sacrifice Cari made to always keep her door open to me. I don't know how many hundreds of times I popped into their home un-announced, with I don't know how many hundreds of stupid reasons (usually about a boy!), and she always made time for me. I never considered her time, her family, the other aspects of her ministry, but it never seemed to matter. I will never forget that, and the impact it made on me will last forever.
I know that God is going to continue to complete His work in them and through them, and I'm excited to pack up my family and head to Marquette for some quality "family time" with the Detmers.
I love you guys, and I will never be able to thank you enough for all that you are in my life.

Good Friends!

These are my friends Heather and Kim. We met about 6 years ago while working at the Jackson County Prosecutor's Office (or as I told our waitress last night, The County Jail). Heather was working there when I started and then Kim joined shortly after me. It didn't take long for us to form a bond and we have journeyed through so much in life during our years of friendship.
One thing is certain, when the 3 of us get together, there is no shortage of LAUGHTER! We met at The Melting Pot last night, in celebration of my birthday (AGAIN!). It never seems to matter how much time has passed from the last time we were together, we always pick up where we left off and have a great time.
I love these girls and am so glad that they are in my life, they are really great friends. (And I'm not just saying that because they paid for my dinner and lavished me with gifts...although it doesn't hurt) (WINK)

My hubs

In case you don't know, this is me and Chris. Our 4 year anniversary is coming up fast (Sept. 4th), and it has been a whirlwind of a 4 years. I can't believe that we are celebrating 4 years of marriage and have 2 kids!! We got right down to business!
I just want to brag about Chris! He is such a great husband. And dad. He does so much for our family, and hardly ever complains, I love that about him. He is really corny and sometimes even I can't understand his jokes, and I imagine that one day he will be that dad whose corny jokes amuze and scare our sons girlfriends.
This picture was taken before our "hot date" on Friday night. We went to Outback, saw The Dark Night and then went and had "pie and coffee" at the Rams Horn. I don't think Chris cares at all about "Pie and Coffee" at 11:00 at night, but he likes to do things that I like. And it's quite obvious that I like "pie and coffee". So, there we were, sitting on the same side of the booth, sipping coffee and eating hot fudge cake at The Rams Horn in Novi. (I should note the only reason we sat on the same side of the booth is because we were watching Olympic Coverage).
Anyway, Chris, I love you, thanks for all you did to make me feel appreciated, loved and cared for on my birthday! You're the best!

6 things you don't know about me

6 Things You Might Not Know About Me

My friend from Ozark Christian College, Eskai, tagged me for a game. So here are 6 things you might not know about me (although, I'm pretty open, so you probably do)

1. I read in the bathroom. ALL THE TIME! If I borrow books from you, and you don't want them read in the bathroom, you should let me know before lending them to me! I consider the bathroom the ONE place where I will have some peace and quiet to finish a chapter, a page, or the rest of a book.

2. I spend too much time in "idle" mode. It's something that I"m working on, but I have such a problem with idleness. I can easily waste an entire day, doing nothing except taking care of the kids, surfing the internet (especially blogs and facebook), and watching TV. It's sad...but true...and you probably DID know this about me!~!!

3. I usually have at least one laundry load that I have to wash twice because I leave it in the washer for too long.

4. I've never seen "Napoleon Dynamite". I have no desire to, either.

5. I talk to myself, like, a LOT! I have Pre-Conversation-Conversations with people, aloud, in the car, in the shower, wherever. Sometimes I think I've lost my mind, especially when a real conversation with the real person is NO WHERE near my pre-conversation-conversation with myself. Or when I get my own conversation confused with the conversation that ACTUALLY takes place

6. And lastly, I'm really sad about something. My Youth Pastor/second dad and his wife- my second mother/sister/friend, and their family are moving to Marquette, MI sometime soon. It's an odd thing that I am so sad about this, because I have seen them...maybe 5 times since I've been married, but I literally can't think about them moving without crying. I have been working on a post about this for some time, but I can't even seem to get my thoughts straight...it's crazy!

Hope you learned something new about me!

I'm supposed to "tag" other people who have blogs and have them do the same, but I don't know how to do all of that, so if you want to do this...then do it!

Happy Birthday to ME!!

Turning 30 is awesome! I had the most amazing birthday yesterday, and the celebrating isn't even over yet. I need to set the day up with a few tidbits that might help you understand the greatness of the day.
1) For about 10 years, I have been obsessed with being the absolute queen of the day on my birthday
2) I'm almost always disappointed that, in fact, the world does NOT revolve around me on August 13
3) The plan for my 30th birthday was...a park outing with my Lindsay and Cyrus and Ayla, followed by lunch...dinner at home with the fam..with other events and gathering throughout the week planned.
So, here's how the day unfolded...I woke up and Chris was in the shower getting ready for work, then I went in the bathroom and when I came out Chris and the boys were sitting on our bed with a big box all wrapped up in front of them. I was NOT expecting a present, and I certainly was not expecting ... A KEURIG coffee maker!! YAY! I had mentioned wanting one a time or two, but never thought I'd get it!! OHHH, I've been having some good coffee these past 2 days, have I mentioned I love me some coffee? Then the card said that I get the day to myself, because Chris wasn't going to work! We had been talking about my need for shopping for new clothes and that got to be my day for it!
It didn't take me long to get out of the house and be on my way for a day of shopping, lunching, maybe a movie! I got my guilty pleasure breakfast..(.DON'T JUDGE, but I love "Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddles" from McD's, and it was my birthday so I indulged! )..then set out to the mall. I went to my favorite store, Ann Taylor Loft, bought a pair of jeans, a shirt and a sweater. Then went to more stores, tried on more clothes and actually enjoyed myself at the mall.
I then met my friend Courtney for lunch at Border Cantina Mexican restaurant, where she bought me lunch and a margarita...nothing like booze in the afternoon. Then I wondered through a few more stores, and headed to see what was at the theater. I ended up seeing, Mama Mia! I have this weird thing, I actually ENJOY seeing a movie by myself. But...not this one. I'm not too crazy about musicals, and I really liked the story line, AND I like Some ABBA in my life, but it was too much for me. Alone. If I had a friend sitting by me while Dancing Queen was on, I think it would've created a fun moment. Glad I saw it, but I won't see it again!
After my movie I wandered through Target and then came home. All 4 of us went to Red Robin for dinner, Levi loves it there, and it's loud enough we don't feel bad if the kids sqwak a little. It was a great dinner, and just overall one of my best birthdays ever.
I'm just narcissistic enough, that I might post pictures of my clothes...maybe even with me in them, but for now, here's a picture of my Keurig, I LOVE IT!!! Come on over and I'll make you a cup of some GOOD coffee!!!

A nugget tucked away...

I found this verse a few months ago tucked into the gospel of Luke, and I have been pondering it ever since, here it is along with my thoughts. If you can add your own insight to this passage, I'd love to hear it.
Luke 22:31-32 (Jesus is talking) "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
This is one part of the conversation Jesus and Simon (also called Peter) have during the Passover Supper (or the Last Supper). It's where Jesus tells Peter that "before the rooster crows, Peter will deny Jesus 3x.
Here are the things that struck me as I have read this passage and mulled over it.
1) "Simon, Simon" I love the tenderness in Jesus using Simon's name twice. I can just hear His tone (as I think it might have sounded), not harsh, not condemning, but filled with tenderness as He warns His disciple of what is to come.
2) "satan has asked..." For some reason, I get so much comfort from knowing that Satan had to ASK to come against Simon. (Just like he did Job) I wonder what it was about Peter that made him such a target for Satan, I mean, why did he specifically ask for him?
3) "but I have prayed for you" This is JESUS praying for one of His disciples. It amazes me that Jesus intercedes for us. I don't know much about the theology behind this, but in my "theological" mind, I am in awe of Jesus interceding on MY behalf. I think of times that I've gone through struggles and trials, and I look back so differently thinking that Jesus was praying for me.
4)"And when you have turned back"...This is probably my favorite part. Not, "if you make it through", Not, "good luck to you, man"...but "WHEN you have turned back". Jesus is giving Simon a glimpse into the future and a knowledge that he will get through whatever it is that Satan will put him through.
Those are just some of my thoughts on this passage that I have somehow managed to miss in years and years of reading the gospels. This comes to mind so often when I hear of someone struggling with something. I've been trying to find sermons and talks on this verse, but so far haven't found much that gives me further input than my own simple mind.

And Panera!

After enjoying a delicious lunch today with one of my longest friends, Courtney (We've known each other since Kindergarten), I realized that needed to add something else to my "things that I love"! And that would be Panera Bread! Chris thinks it's too pricey, so I don't go very often, but if that place had a drive-through window, oh baby! In case you're wondering, todays enjoyment was...Strawberry Poppyseed Salad (no cxn); and 1/2 chxn salad on whole grain (You pick 2)! I could make a whole post about what I love at Panera, it would look like this..*Portobella Mozzerlla Panini*cinnamon french toast bagel with Hazelnut cream cheese*cream cheese danish*Vegetarian black bean soup*bread bowls*iced coffees*broccoli chedder soup* Ummm....just read the menu and that's what I love!!!

A few of my favorite things

Over the past few weeks I've found myself using something or doing something, and thought, "Oh, I love this" or something similar, so here is a random list of those things...they may be boring to you, but they're my little pleasures right now!
*Daily phone call with Lindsay*Blogging*facebook*our church*new friendships*Old friendships*reuniting with old friends via facebook*the Mole (which ends tonight:(*watching Mason learn new things daily*watching Levi learn about life*hearing Levi pray*that my kids go to bed at 8:00*naptime*wearing a size 12 again*Jon and Kate + 8*my homemade iced coffee*exercising and feeling good*cuddling with the kids*cuddling with Chris*Pancake Saturdays*reading blogs of friends*reading blogs of strangers that inspire me*coffee*finding new recipes and trying them out*connecting with new friends*switching Mason from baby food to table food*Coke Zero*The Melting Pot*My nieces and nephews*my minivan (never thought I'd say that)*watching the boys sleep*watching movies with Chris*my new relationship with my mom*Costco*playing cribbage with Chris*being referred to as "The Grays" (I can't explain why, but I love it when someone calls us the Grays)*Project Runway*MY FAMILY!!

He's not the only one

I had to add this moment from today as a follow-up to my post about Chris playing Keys at church today. This afternoon Levi was downstairs while Chris was grilling our dinner and I was feeding Mason. Out of nowhere, I heard Levi playing the keyboard (he's figured out how to turn it on, "play it", and turn it off), and a small voice accompanying the banging on the keys. I went to the top of the stairs and heard Levi singing, "You're enough, You're enough for meeee, You're enough, You're enough for meee". Which is one of the songs that Chris played this weekend. You know that song, "Buckaroo" by Rodney Atkins, that song is so Chris and Levi. They have such a cool relationship, Chris is just an amazing dad, and seeing Levi with him (and Mason, in time) just proves that! I am beyond blessed with my family!

My husband's talent

Today Chris was back at the Keys again! Since we've made the move, about a year ago, to Grace Commerce, Chris has taken time off from playing music at church. I know the music team (led by very good friends of ours) has been wanting him to play, but they were so respectful of our need to have some time to focus on our family and "rest".
It was so great for me to see him back behind the keys again! He has such an amazing, God given talent, and when he's leading people in worship it's hard not to see that he's connecting with God on a level I'll never know. (But, oh how I wish I could sing so I could know that connection!)
I am so glad that God has brought us to this church. We have made amazing friends, been challenged Spiritually, and seen God work in our lives in awesome ways during our time at Grace. I can't wait to see what lies ahead for us in our family, with our friends, and most importantly as we both work towards becoming the people that God has created us to be.

Fun Stuff!

I'm getting my stretchy pants out and ready for some GREAT fun this week/weekend! Thursday night I have organized a "Fondue fun night" for the women at our church. We have about 20 women coming and will have all the fondue goodness a woman could ever want. While we have only been attending Grace Commerce for just about a year, we have already made some great friendships, and I'm looking forward to deepening those friendships around a pot of warm chocolaty heaven!
And, as if one night isn't enough...Saturday night we will be having dinner at my own personal version of heaven on earth, THE MELTING POT! with our friends Kevin and Allison, to celebrate Allison's birthday.
One might wonder if this is too much fondue for one person...umm...there is no such thing as too much fondue, not in my book anyway.

A missed opportunity

Yesterday at the post office something powerful was taking place right before my eyes. Something I've blogged about doing but instead I did the opposite and ran from an opportunity that God might have placed right in my lap. (GRRR-I hate it when I do that, yet I do it so often!)
Anyway, I had a package to mail so I had the boys in the double stroller knowing that I would be in there for a while trying to put the package together. When we walked through the door these two young boys, probably 6 & 8 - ish, ran in front of us, yelling and chasing each other through the post office. The line for the counter was about 5 people deep and the mother of these two boys was at the counter talking to an employee while simultaneously yelling at her children who were on the other side of the building banging into mailboxes. Everyone in the line was giving the lady dirty looks, rolling their eyes at the children and making comments to each other about how terrible they were. I was thinking how great my boys were and what the heck is this ladies problem letting her kids be banshees in the post office.
Fast-forward 15 minutes (full of chaotic boys running back and forth (NOT MINE, they were sitting happily in the stroller)), I am now at the front of the line and the mother is talking to a manager of the post-office. I start eavesdropping on the conversation and hear that she is going through a divorce, her husband is stealing her mail, she has to go into hiding because he is abusive to her...and then I don't hear anymore because I'm finally at the counter. She was still at the counter when I went out to the van, and as I was driving away she was in the doorway of the post-office yelling, no screaming at her boys to get out before she "beats their asses". I contemplated the entire time I was witnessing this unfold, asking her how I could help her.
My heart was breaking for these boys, who are most likely acting out due to their family falling apart, and it was breaking for this mom, who was obviously at her limit. I said a quick prayer for her and left the post office. It's almost like it's haunting me now. I can't forget the scene, the embarrassment on the woman's face, the look of the angry customers at her obnoxious children, the boys. I should have done something. I should have offered something to her. I don't know what, but I really feel like I've missed an opportunity that was right before me.
Now, go back to my blog about the hurt in this world...At the end I said "Lord, help me to see these people and help"...and I didn't! I hate when I do this, but I have story after story of times where I KNOW God is at work doing something and I let fear of rejection or looking stupid take over me.
Pray for me, that I will be not only aware of the hurt surrounding me but that I would TAKE ACTION! And mostly pray for this poor family. I don't know what or how you should pray for them, but God knows, listen to his prompting.

Mason Crawls, Swear Police and Potty Success

Here is a video of Mason crawling, in case you'd like to see my prodigy at work :D (I am SO becoming one of THOSE parents)
We have been in the process of teaching Levi that there are words that he can't say. We reached this phase one night when at dinner he said "Darn it", followed by "Crap", followed by "Shut Up". All my words...lovely. Of all the profound things that come out of my mouth on a daily basis, Levi picks up those words. Nice. Anyway, we went through the spiel, you don't say those words, only happy words, blah blah blah. Since then he is quick to let you know if you say one of those words, "Mommy (or whomever else is talking) don't say that word, only happy words." Yesterday, King of Queens was on the TV and Carrie used the word "crap". Levi stopped doodling on his magna-doodle, looked up and said, "TV don't say that word, only happy words, TV". Off went the TV. It was so funny!
Today we took a trip to Target and bought Levi a Potty Chair (which he calls a "potty train" and big boy underwear). Oh, and a big bag of M&M's for reward. He's never sat on the toilet or anything before, and so far today he's gone pooped twice...*OH, I just cringed...I AM one of THOSE PARENTS, blogging about my child's bowel movements* (Oddly enough, I'm not deleting)!

Pictures!

Levi's first fishing trip

The Gray family

I love this picture!

Feeding the goats at Grant's Farms.

In Missouri

Today's blog is brought to you from Farmington, MO. We're really enjoying our vacation and time with "papa mike and jo-nanna". (Jo-nanna is my dad's wife, Joanna) As you can see from the pictures, we've been enjoying the swimming pool a lot! Levi even did some "swimming" on his own. He had two of the swim noodles propped under his arms like skis and floated around on his tummy. I'm really surprised that he wears the Superman floaty thing.
Yesterday we went to Grant's Farms. It's a small zoo with a train that you ride around and see deer, elk, etc...wondering around. Then there's a small area with a few animals. We saw an elephant, camels, and Levi spent some time in the petting zoo feeding the goats from a bottle (I'll post pictures of that later).
We're really having a great time and aren't sure if my dad is going to let us leave or not! He's really enjoying Levi and Mason and getting to see their personalities and interaction.
Oh! And Chris and I got to get away and go to a par3 golf course. I have only real golfed one time and that was over 5 years ago. I actually got PAR on one of the holes. We had a lot of fun doing that together!!

Funny (and Cute) Story

...Well, it's actually mostly cute. Today in preparation for all of our happenings, I went to get the van washed at the automatic car wash. Levi has had a fear of the car wash for quite some time, but recently has become a bit more brave when we drive through it. Mason on the other hand, has remained quite oblivious to the experience. Today while we were waiting in line to enter the car wash, Levi kept saying (with a quiver in his voice), it's not too scary mommy, it's not to scary. Then as we pulled up and the guys (who I think ARE quite scary) started doing the pre-wash, Levi said, "I like the car wash". At that moment, Mason (who is experiencing quite a bit of stranger anxiety, especially with males) notices the car wash attendant outside his window and looses it. An all out, hyperventilating cry. Levi looks over at Mason and says, "Mason it's OK, it's not too scary". And repeats it over and over like a mantra. While he's trying to convince his brother (who calms down as soon as the attendant walks away), it's obvious that he is trying very hard to be brave himself and the quiver in his voice is very apparent.
Meanwhile I was sitting up front blinking back tears at what I've just witnessed. It's one of the first, and very rare, times that Levi has shown pure care and compassion for Mason. I just loved listening to him with that "trying to be brave quiver" repeat over and over, "It's OK Mason, it's not too scary"...oh, these moments make me LOVE being a mother!
Well, just wanted to share that, now it's back to packing!

The Fun is about to begin!

Today is the last "normal" day around here for a while. Tomorrow we are celebrating Chris' birthday at the Tigers game with DJ and Lindsay. Our neighbor Steve, who works for the Organization, got us great seats, row 9 of the Tigers Dugout. All four kids are going to stay at grandma and gramps Gray's house, overnight! It should be a really fun night and will be a great way to celebrate Chris' birthday.
Saturday we are going to pick up the boys and then heading to Peoria, Ill. in route to St. Louis and my dad's house. We'll be meeting up with my college friend Bridget and her family on Saturday evening and then Sunday we'll be off to Farmington, MO., aka: Pappa Mike's house. We're looking forward to just hanging out with my dad and Joanna (or as Levi has named her Jo-nanna) and their pool. We're hoping for a nice relaxing time together, but with a two year old and 8 month old, "nice and Relaxing" is sometimes very hard to find!

Funny

This is what Levi was up to today! Sometimes I wonder how he even thinks about doing something like this. The picture's not great quality wise, but I wanted to quickly snap a shot before he realized I was watching him! `

A hurting world

On my blog list on the right, I have two blogs listed that I have become quite familiar with. I can't even begin to explain (it's a long and random story) how I found out about these blogs, but they are both very meaningful to me. One is the story of a mother who found out the baby she was carrying, her 4th daughter, would never survive outside her womb. (audreycaroline.blogspot.com) The other is the story of a 3 year old girl, named Eve, who was recently diagnosed with Lukemia. I have spent hours in the past few weeks reading about these stories, laughing and crying with these strangers who the only thing I have in common with them, is motherhood.
These stories have changed the way I view this world. They (and many others I have heard recently) have reminded me of the state of this fallen place we live in. I look at people so differently now. I think about the lady in the grocery store whose child is running rampant while she hogs the one freezer door I need. I actually try to think...I have no idea what is going on in this woman's life. What sort of pains she is experiencing right now, they may be none, but I don't know that. It makes me think twice about letting some comment or loud sigh escape my lips.
I remember when I was in the midst of my battle with post-partum depression. Right before I was hospitalized. My in-laws were watching our boys and Chris and I went to Costco to stock up on our monthly groceries. I was walking through that store with severe anxiety, thinking that I wouldn't make it through the line without either having a panic attack or sitting down and bawling right there in the midst of the ginormous toilet paper rolls. I was in so much pain that day, so unaware of anything around me, I might have been "putzing" in front of a freezer door, or blocking someones path, but I was oblivious because my mind was falling apart.
I try to remember that time when I see people now. I know that there are so many hurts in this world that we live in, we just don't know who or where they are. I want to learn how to show Christ's love to these strangers. I want to help them in someway see, that this pain, this financial struggle, this abandonment, whatever they are facing is temporary. Because Jesus has promised that He's preparing a place for us. A place where "He [God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Rev. 21:4.
Lord, open my eyes to the pain around me. Show me how to reach out and comfort those who you have put in my path who are hurting. Mostly, help me to be obedient to your prompting and act when you call me to act.

50 things you never needed to know

(1) Favorite hobby? ughhh...I hate this question because it really makes me wish I had a hobby! Unless reading counts as a hobby, I don't have one.

(2) How do you feel about your ex? I don't have a significant enough "ex" to feel anything about

(3) Do you own guns? No

(4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? This question makes me mad because there is no SONIC around here...in this state, even. BUT, in my year at Ozark Christian College I became quite familiar with the SONIC (hence my anger at not having one near me), and I LOVE vanilla dr. pepper and Cherry Limeaids

(5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? always

(6) What do you think of hot dogs? I like them

(7) Favorite Christmas song? The Cradle Prayer by Rebecca St. James, It's such a beautiful song

(8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? COFFEE...I have become quite the Coffee addict, in fact, maybe coffee can be my hobby

(9) Can you do push ups? the girlie kind, but I'm getting better

(10) Can you do a chin up? I haven't tried in a while, but I doubt it

(11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry? my engagement ring

(12) Do you like blue cheese? I don't really like it

(13) Ever been in a car wreck? 2 times

(14) Do you have ADD? It's not out of the question

(15) What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I am so sensitive (but I think I hide it quite well)

(16) Middle name? Marie

(17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? 1) I'm really glad that I have this "break" right now 2) I can't wait to celebrate CHris' birthday with our AWESOME seats at the Tigers game and our best friends, DJ and Lindsay 3) I have so much to do before we go to St. Louis and visit my dad

(18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday? 1) a new shirt for Chris 2) a birthday card and the rest of Lauren's birthday gift 3) baby food

(19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? 1) Coffee 2) Water 3) Coke Zero

(20) Current worry? Chris and Levi who are on an "Adventure Walk" right now and Chris just called to say the park was much further than he thought...*sigh*

(21) Current hate right now? All of the pain in this world

(23) How did you bring in the New Year? with DJ and Lindsay

(24) Where would you like to be right now? At the Melting Pot!!!!

(25) Do you like bok choy? Yep

(26) Do you own slippers? yes

(27) What shirt are you wearing? a purple t-shirt

(28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Not at all.

(29) Can you whistle? no

(31) Would you be a pirate? umm..no

(32) What songs do you sing in the shower? Shout to the Lord is my current shower hit for the moment

(33) Favorite girl's name? Aubrey Paige (it would've been Mason's if he was a girl)

(34) Favorite boy's name? Levi Mason (apparently such a person exists whose first name is Levi and last name is Mason)

(35) What is in your pocket? Nothing

(36) Last thing that made you laugh? I was "chatting" with a long lost college friend via Facebook and she brought up a sweatshirt that I may or may not have borrowed/stolen from her 9 years ago, I had forgotten all about that, but I LOVED that sweatshirt (which is why I borrowed/stole)

(37) Best bed sheets as a child? I have no idea

(38) Worst injury you ever had? The post labor "injuries" were quite traumatic (and you can only roll your eyes if you've naturally (with an epidural though) delivered a 9lb 10oz baby your first time)

(39) Do you like where you live? For the moment, but oh, how I'm longing for Heaven

(40) How many TVs do you have in your house? 3

(41) Who is your loudest friend? Courtney Feurstien, and it's what I love about her!

(42) How many dogs do you have? Just one, Tucker

(43) Does someone have a crush on you? Someone better, or I'll have no reason for squeezing out two kids.

(44) Favorite book? I love the Mark of The Lion Series by Francine Rivers, it's life-changing

(46) What is your favorite candy? Reses Pieces !

(47) Favorite Sports Team? Detroit Tigers

(48) What song do you want played at your funeral? We Will Dance (it's a praise and worship song) AND "IF You Could See Me Now"

(49) What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Sleeping

(50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? We are going to be late for Church...again *sigh*

My Boys

Pretty much for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a wife and a mother. If I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say, "A teacher, but only if I can't be a mom and wife". Now that I'm in this reflective state of mind, I think about what that 13 year old girl would think if she saw me now (Kind of like that Brad Paisley song, "Letter to Me") After the initial dissapointment that I never did marry one of the New Kids On The Block, I think me at 13 would be very happy with me at 30.(almost). I still have some of my best friends from that time in my life, Jill, Melissa Heaton and Courtney Feurstien. Our lives have changed and thus our friendships are all different and much more infrequent times together, but they're still a special part of my life.
Then I look at my family. I have a husband who exceeded any of my dreams and expectations, (even including Jordan Knight from NKOTB) and 2 healthy, beautiful boys. And I'm making it...as a mom...as a wife. I think I'm doing pretty well at it too. Sure, there are days when dinner is a hot dog and can of corn, and mornings when Chris has to revert to his "spare drawers" because once again, I've gotten behind on the laundry. There are times when I say "I love this stage of life" and then times when I "can't wait for this time of life to be over". But I know that it won't be long before Levi doesn't want to cuddle with me anymore and I'm not his friend anymore, and soon Mason won't light up when I walk in the room and cry when I'm out of his sight. So for right now, this day, this week, this moment, I'll try to be content and happy with where I've ended up, because I know that the 13 year old Tonya with Penny-rolled pants and Canvas Keds would be really pleased to see herself now!

Trying again

So, this is my 2nd attempt at a blog. My first one didn't get any further than a post and Chris reading it, so I'm trying again. I was listening to the Tim McGraw song, "My Next 30 Years today" and I thought, "Oh, I'm there...turning 30...what will these next 30 years be for me, my family?". I started thinking thoughts like, "In 30 years...I'll be 60...Chris will be 61...Levi will be 33...Mason 30...my dad 82...mom 81...etc..etc...etc.."
I've tried so many times to keep journals, prayer journals, journals for the boys, but I'm such a better typer than writer, so I've decided this blog will just contain all of my ramblings, thoughts, happenings etc.
I have no idea if anyone will read this, or if anyone really cares what's going on in my head, but here it is for anyone who cares...enjoy!