Adios!

I finished reading this book last week, and let me tell ya, it kicked my keister! (Is there a proper spelling for keister...Keester? Kiester?) Anyway!
It was so good, I was really excited to read it, but I had no idea how much it would bring some aspects of my personality to light, and how convicted I would be by reading it. My book is very, very, highlighted, so much of it spoke to me.
Here's the main thing I took from the book. Beth Moore gives a lot of examples of the ways insecurity tends to make fools of us. Crazy things we do and say in the moments where our insecurity is at it's height. She talks about how it affects our friendships, our marriages, our relationship with God even. And it got me thinking, how does my own insecurity manifest itself?
My conclusion? When I'm feeling insecure, I become EXTREMELY judgmental. Examples? Well sure, I've got a billion of them.
When I'm feeling insecure about my weight (most of the time), I "size" up every random woman I come across... "am I heavier than her".."surely she's a bigger size than me", etc..etc..

When I'm feeling insecure about myself as a mother, I judge the behavior of kids around me... "my kids are at least SITTING in the cart, those kids are running through the store"..."at least our kids aren't climbing all over the waiter/waitress like those kids"...etc..etc.

When I'm feeling insecure about my marriage, I judge the marriages around me (and usually with little or NO correct information to go on!) I make assumptions that the other couple (sometimes complete strangers!) has nothing as good as we do in our marriage.

When I'm feeling insecure about my relationships, I judge the quality of relationships around me, you know, the ones that I don't have a CLUE about! Relationships that I have no idea what the inner workings are, the dynamics, the REALITIES!

So, how have I taken this aspect of insecurity and tried to better myself? Now whenever I get those rambling judgmental thoughts in my head, I catch myself. I stop and ask, "What is it that I'm feeling insecure about?" 99% of the time, I have found that my judging is coming from my own insecurity. I HATE being judgmental. I really, really hate it. It's such a trap, and so not useful for anything. It's a trap that I fall into often, and a trap that I'm trying to avoid more and more these days.
It's so much easier to love others, to be more open to others without the false assumption/judgmental thing going on in my head. I have a long way to go, but if this is the only thing that sticks with me from the pages of this book, I think it's a good thing to hang on to!
I've recommended the book to so many people, and I think you should get it and read it, too! You'll love it, and maybe it'll kick your keester too! (Keister, kiester??)

"March"-ing along!

What's happening in our world right now...

*I'm just about finished with the 2 Esther (a study by Beth Moore) groups that I was leading through the fall! The study was so good for me in so many ways. I'm trying to decide which Beth Moore study I'll tackle next. I like doing them as my every day devotional because they really bring me through the Word...they challenge me and cause me to think and grow in ways that I've not found with any other devotional/study author.

*Speaking of Beth Moore, I'm reading her new book, "So long, Insecurity" and I am loving it! I've told pretty much every woman I know to pick it up and start reading, because I can't think of any woman who would NOT benefit from reading it. It has convicted me and opened my eyes in so many ways, I'm just about finished and I'm sure it's one I'll read over and over.

*Baby #3 is growing and moving and doing everything he needs to be doing! I've forgotten how fun/crazy/weird/sometimes annoying all of those movements can be...the annoying part is that no matter what I'm doing, lying down or sitting up, anytime I change positions something about the way he moves just makes me have to ...umm...pee! We're still searching around for baby names, we'll take suggestions!

*SPRING IS HERE! I don't know if it's technically Spring or not, but we're down to 2 very SMALL patches of snow in our yard and Tuesday the boys and I spent 2 hours playing at the park. It felt so good to be sitting outside, feeling the sun on my back and watching my boys romp around in the mud puddles. Now all I need is a good, strong thunderstorm!

*I've seen a ton on facebook and in some of the blogs I read and talked with some of my friends that people are starting their outdoor running again...or for the first time. I'm a little jealous! I haven't done any running since I found out I was pregnant and at this point it probably would be a bit dangerous for me and the baby, since I'm so out of shape AND clumsy these days. I miss running. I plan to get back to it after I have this baby and hopefully one day I'll see my feet again...