Funny (and Cute) Story

...Well, it's actually mostly cute. Today in preparation for all of our happenings, I went to get the van washed at the automatic car wash. Levi has had a fear of the car wash for quite some time, but recently has become a bit more brave when we drive through it. Mason on the other hand, has remained quite oblivious to the experience. Today while we were waiting in line to enter the car wash, Levi kept saying (with a quiver in his voice), it's not too scary mommy, it's not to scary. Then as we pulled up and the guys (who I think ARE quite scary) started doing the pre-wash, Levi said, "I like the car wash". At that moment, Mason (who is experiencing quite a bit of stranger anxiety, especially with males) notices the car wash attendant outside his window and looses it. An all out, hyperventilating cry. Levi looks over at Mason and says, "Mason it's OK, it's not too scary". And repeats it over and over like a mantra. While he's trying to convince his brother (who calms down as soon as the attendant walks away), it's obvious that he is trying very hard to be brave himself and the quiver in his voice is very apparent.
Meanwhile I was sitting up front blinking back tears at what I've just witnessed. It's one of the first, and very rare, times that Levi has shown pure care and compassion for Mason. I just loved listening to him with that "trying to be brave quiver" repeat over and over, "It's OK Mason, it's not too scary"...oh, these moments make me LOVE being a mother!
Well, just wanted to share that, now it's back to packing!

The Fun is about to begin!

Today is the last "normal" day around here for a while. Tomorrow we are celebrating Chris' birthday at the Tigers game with DJ and Lindsay. Our neighbor Steve, who works for the Organization, got us great seats, row 9 of the Tigers Dugout. All four kids are going to stay at grandma and gramps Gray's house, overnight! It should be a really fun night and will be a great way to celebrate Chris' birthday.
Saturday we are going to pick up the boys and then heading to Peoria, Ill. in route to St. Louis and my dad's house. We'll be meeting up with my college friend Bridget and her family on Saturday evening and then Sunday we'll be off to Farmington, MO., aka: Pappa Mike's house. We're looking forward to just hanging out with my dad and Joanna (or as Levi has named her Jo-nanna) and their pool. We're hoping for a nice relaxing time together, but with a two year old and 8 month old, "nice and Relaxing" is sometimes very hard to find!

Funny

This is what Levi was up to today! Sometimes I wonder how he even thinks about doing something like this. The picture's not great quality wise, but I wanted to quickly snap a shot before he realized I was watching him! `

A hurting world

On my blog list on the right, I have two blogs listed that I have become quite familiar with. I can't even begin to explain (it's a long and random story) how I found out about these blogs, but they are both very meaningful to me. One is the story of a mother who found out the baby she was carrying, her 4th daughter, would never survive outside her womb. (audreycaroline.blogspot.com) The other is the story of a 3 year old girl, named Eve, who was recently diagnosed with Lukemia. I have spent hours in the past few weeks reading about these stories, laughing and crying with these strangers who the only thing I have in common with them, is motherhood.
These stories have changed the way I view this world. They (and many others I have heard recently) have reminded me of the state of this fallen place we live in. I look at people so differently now. I think about the lady in the grocery store whose child is running rampant while she hogs the one freezer door I need. I actually try to think...I have no idea what is going on in this woman's life. What sort of pains she is experiencing right now, they may be none, but I don't know that. It makes me think twice about letting some comment or loud sigh escape my lips.
I remember when I was in the midst of my battle with post-partum depression. Right before I was hospitalized. My in-laws were watching our boys and Chris and I went to Costco to stock up on our monthly groceries. I was walking through that store with severe anxiety, thinking that I wouldn't make it through the line without either having a panic attack or sitting down and bawling right there in the midst of the ginormous toilet paper rolls. I was in so much pain that day, so unaware of anything around me, I might have been "putzing" in front of a freezer door, or blocking someones path, but I was oblivious because my mind was falling apart.
I try to remember that time when I see people now. I know that there are so many hurts in this world that we live in, we just don't know who or where they are. I want to learn how to show Christ's love to these strangers. I want to help them in someway see, that this pain, this financial struggle, this abandonment, whatever they are facing is temporary. Because Jesus has promised that He's preparing a place for us. A place where "He [God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Rev. 21:4.
Lord, open my eyes to the pain around me. Show me how to reach out and comfort those who you have put in my path who are hurting. Mostly, help me to be obedient to your prompting and act when you call me to act.

50 things you never needed to know

(1) Favorite hobby? ughhh...I hate this question because it really makes me wish I had a hobby! Unless reading counts as a hobby, I don't have one.

(2) How do you feel about your ex? I don't have a significant enough "ex" to feel anything about

(3) Do you own guns? No

(4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? This question makes me mad because there is no SONIC around here...in this state, even. BUT, in my year at Ozark Christian College I became quite familiar with the SONIC (hence my anger at not having one near me), and I LOVE vanilla dr. pepper and Cherry Limeaids

(5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? always

(6) What do you think of hot dogs? I like them

(7) Favorite Christmas song? The Cradle Prayer by Rebecca St. James, It's such a beautiful song

(8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? COFFEE...I have become quite the Coffee addict, in fact, maybe coffee can be my hobby

(9) Can you do push ups? the girlie kind, but I'm getting better

(10) Can you do a chin up? I haven't tried in a while, but I doubt it

(11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry? my engagement ring

(12) Do you like blue cheese? I don't really like it

(13) Ever been in a car wreck? 2 times

(14) Do you have ADD? It's not out of the question

(15) What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I am so sensitive (but I think I hide it quite well)

(16) Middle name? Marie

(17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? 1) I'm really glad that I have this "break" right now 2) I can't wait to celebrate CHris' birthday with our AWESOME seats at the Tigers game and our best friends, DJ and Lindsay 3) I have so much to do before we go to St. Louis and visit my dad

(18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday? 1) a new shirt for Chris 2) a birthday card and the rest of Lauren's birthday gift 3) baby food

(19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? 1) Coffee 2) Water 3) Coke Zero

(20) Current worry? Chris and Levi who are on an "Adventure Walk" right now and Chris just called to say the park was much further than he thought...*sigh*

(21) Current hate right now? All of the pain in this world

(23) How did you bring in the New Year? with DJ and Lindsay

(24) Where would you like to be right now? At the Melting Pot!!!!

(25) Do you like bok choy? Yep

(26) Do you own slippers? yes

(27) What shirt are you wearing? a purple t-shirt

(28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Not at all.

(29) Can you whistle? no

(31) Would you be a pirate? umm..no

(32) What songs do you sing in the shower? Shout to the Lord is my current shower hit for the moment

(33) Favorite girl's name? Aubrey Paige (it would've been Mason's if he was a girl)

(34) Favorite boy's name? Levi Mason (apparently such a person exists whose first name is Levi and last name is Mason)

(35) What is in your pocket? Nothing

(36) Last thing that made you laugh? I was "chatting" with a long lost college friend via Facebook and she brought up a sweatshirt that I may or may not have borrowed/stolen from her 9 years ago, I had forgotten all about that, but I LOVED that sweatshirt (which is why I borrowed/stole)

(37) Best bed sheets as a child? I have no idea

(38) Worst injury you ever had? The post labor "injuries" were quite traumatic (and you can only roll your eyes if you've naturally (with an epidural though) delivered a 9lb 10oz baby your first time)

(39) Do you like where you live? For the moment, but oh, how I'm longing for Heaven

(40) How many TVs do you have in your house? 3

(41) Who is your loudest friend? Courtney Feurstien, and it's what I love about her!

(42) How many dogs do you have? Just one, Tucker

(43) Does someone have a crush on you? Someone better, or I'll have no reason for squeezing out two kids.

(44) Favorite book? I love the Mark of The Lion Series by Francine Rivers, it's life-changing

(46) What is your favorite candy? Reses Pieces !

(47) Favorite Sports Team? Detroit Tigers

(48) What song do you want played at your funeral? We Will Dance (it's a praise and worship song) AND "IF You Could See Me Now"

(49) What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Sleeping

(50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? We are going to be late for Church...again *sigh*

My Boys

Pretty much for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a wife and a mother. If I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say, "A teacher, but only if I can't be a mom and wife". Now that I'm in this reflective state of mind, I think about what that 13 year old girl would think if she saw me now (Kind of like that Brad Paisley song, "Letter to Me") After the initial dissapointment that I never did marry one of the New Kids On The Block, I think me at 13 would be very happy with me at 30.(almost). I still have some of my best friends from that time in my life, Jill, Melissa Heaton and Courtney Feurstien. Our lives have changed and thus our friendships are all different and much more infrequent times together, but they're still a special part of my life.
Then I look at my family. I have a husband who exceeded any of my dreams and expectations, (even including Jordan Knight from NKOTB) and 2 healthy, beautiful boys. And I'm making it...as a mom...as a wife. I think I'm doing pretty well at it too. Sure, there are days when dinner is a hot dog and can of corn, and mornings when Chris has to revert to his "spare drawers" because once again, I've gotten behind on the laundry. There are times when I say "I love this stage of life" and then times when I "can't wait for this time of life to be over". But I know that it won't be long before Levi doesn't want to cuddle with me anymore and I'm not his friend anymore, and soon Mason won't light up when I walk in the room and cry when I'm out of his sight. So for right now, this day, this week, this moment, I'll try to be content and happy with where I've ended up, because I know that the 13 year old Tonya with Penny-rolled pants and Canvas Keds would be really pleased to see herself now!

Trying again

So, this is my 2nd attempt at a blog. My first one didn't get any further than a post and Chris reading it, so I'm trying again. I was listening to the Tim McGraw song, "My Next 30 Years today" and I thought, "Oh, I'm there...turning 30...what will these next 30 years be for me, my family?". I started thinking thoughts like, "In 30 years...I'll be 60...Chris will be 61...Levi will be 33...Mason 30...my dad 82...mom 81...etc..etc...etc.."
I've tried so many times to keep journals, prayer journals, journals for the boys, but I'm such a better typer than writer, so I've decided this blog will just contain all of my ramblings, thoughts, happenings etc.
I have no idea if anyone will read this, or if anyone really cares what's going on in my head, but here it is for anyone who cares...enjoy!