An important announcement

The following is a public service announcement (PSA) on behalf of Pregnant Women of America (PWA) intended for all Non-Pregnant People of America (NPPA)!

Attention all NPPA, please do not look at any of the PWA around you and tell us that we look "fat", "large", "huge", "ginormous" are "rapidly expanding", "must be having twins", "bigger than I was last week", "popping out", "carrying mostly in my hips...or butt..or boobs..or any other part of my body"! Please refrain from touching, commenting on, flicking (yes, some of you NPPA are FLICKERS!) or staring at our protruding belly buttons. We, the PPA, realize that some NPPA have never been pregnant and therefore do not understand the alien-like transformation that our bodies are undergoing. You get SOME leeway for your less than kind statements. However, some of you NPPA, are former PPA, and have forgotten (sometimes so very quickly) the rage of hormones, the feeling of looking at yourself in the mirror and not recognizing the strange person staring back at you! You former PPA, get very less, a very marginal amount of leeway for your stares, flicks and comments!
Please understand that during our reign as PPA, we are experiencing an uncommon, extremely LARGE surge of hormones! (And no, the hormones are not acceptable topics of conversation either) Therefore, if you feel the need to comment, stare, flick belly buttons, or rub our tummies "for good luck" you are putting yourself at risk for some sort of hormonal retaliation. This could include, but is not limited to the following; the PPA under attack may burst into tears before your very eyes, leaving you to look like an evil NPPA making said PPA cry; you may be screamed at, kicked, mocked for your size, have your hair pulled, your eyes gouged out, or most likely you will be left to clean up the mess of a sobbing PPA, the result of your unkind words or gestures.
Thank you in advance for adhering to the suggestions in the proceeding PSA!

As the author of this Public Service Announcement, 2 confessions must be made. During the author's time as a NPPA, said author made TWO major blunders to PPA's...As a high school junior, my youth pastor's wife was VERY pregnant with her 2nd child, as she walked into the gymnasium filled with high school students, I made a very loud, very obnoxious quacking sound, referencing her very pregnant waddle...so not cool!
During another time in my life, before having ever been pregnant, a co-worker was expecting her 3rd child. In an elevator FULL of people, I very loudly questioned her claim that she was carrying a single child, and gave her the oh so kind advice, to have her Doctor check again, to make sure only one baby was residing in her ginormous pregnant stomach...so, so, SO not cool!