My Boys

Pretty much for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a wife and a mother. If I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say, "A teacher, but only if I can't be a mom and wife". Now that I'm in this reflective state of mind, I think about what that 13 year old girl would think if she saw me now (Kind of like that Brad Paisley song, "Letter to Me") After the initial dissapointment that I never did marry one of the New Kids On The Block, I think me at 13 would be very happy with me at 30.(almost). I still have some of my best friends from that time in my life, Jill, Melissa Heaton and Courtney Feurstien. Our lives have changed and thus our friendships are all different and much more infrequent times together, but they're still a special part of my life.
Then I look at my family. I have a husband who exceeded any of my dreams and expectations, (even including Jordan Knight from NKOTB) and 2 healthy, beautiful boys. And I'm making it...as a mom...as a wife. I think I'm doing pretty well at it too. Sure, there are days when dinner is a hot dog and can of corn, and mornings when Chris has to revert to his "spare drawers" because once again, I've gotten behind on the laundry. There are times when I say "I love this stage of life" and then times when I "can't wait for this time of life to be over". But I know that it won't be long before Levi doesn't want to cuddle with me anymore and I'm not his friend anymore, and soon Mason won't light up when I walk in the room and cry when I'm out of his sight. So for right now, this day, this week, this moment, I'll try to be content and happy with where I've ended up, because I know that the 13 year old Tonya with Penny-rolled pants and Canvas Keds would be really pleased to see herself now!