Deleted!

I took a huge step today and have decided to delete my facebook account! Yes, I will delete my account. I'm not taking time off, like I have before, I deleted the whole thing. WHY, you ask? I'd love to share my reasons, and they are many, with you!
First, I'd like to say, I'm most certainly NOT trying to start a movement, convince you to delete your page or convict you of anything. This is something that I feel I need to do to better myself and better manage the way I spend my time. I am...was...a facebook addict. I literally hop on and check status updates, pictures, etc...multiple times a day, multiple, as in more than 1, 2 or 6! I'm sure you're wondering why not just limit myself to once a day, take some time off, etc...? I just don't see the benefit of facebook for me right now, so I'd rather just be off it completely..for good!
I've been thinking about this since I read this blog post on Sunday. I've been debating within my ownself if facebook is something that is beneficial to me, and I just don't think it is. I don't think it's something un-beneficial, but I can't see any benefit in it, and therefore no reason to keep it open and having it available to lure me in and drain my time. Time that could better be spent building relationships...real-life, live relationships!
Relationship... this is the word that has been going over and over in my mind as I've been debating shutting it down. One of my biggest struggles lately has been the dissapointment in lack of time to build relationships. I've had more than a few conversations with friends lately, where I've been sharing this struggle and saying, "there's just not enough time in my day to make the calls I want to make, to connect with the friends I want to connect with", yet I manage to spend most of my boys nap times checking in on facebook. And when I say checking in on facebook, I'm not really building and fostering relationships with people. I'm looking at pictures of people I've not even TALKED to since becoming their "friend", in fact, the people I chat with/talk to mostly on facebook, are those who I see on a regular basis.
Make no mistake, facebook has been a great way for me to become reaquainted with people from my past. High School classmates, old church friends, and friends from all 3 of my colleges, and that has been great. But my hope is that I will be able to continue with those people I truely reconnected with and can foster those relationships in other more real ways, more personal ways, and more in-depth ways.
If you are someone who I've reconnected with because of facebook, I really hope you'll keep in contact with me. I'm really not a hard person to get in touch with. My e-mail is tonyagray813@gmail.com. You can always call me, you probably have my number somewhere. And of course, I have this blog, where you can keep up on all things Grays!
I have a feeling this will be more of a struggle than I think, but for me, I think it will be truely beneficial...I hope so, because it will be really embarrassing to request you all as my friends again!

My first Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So here are the things I did not do this week:

I did not order and consume 3 tall iced coffees with skim milk and a shot of hazelnut syrup in the span of 5 days! That would not be wasteful use of our money, and since I am trying to be a good steward of what God has given us, I wouldn't even consider doing such a thing...not me

I did not take a child with a stinky diaper to church and attempt to play dumb and try to drop him off in the nursery, pretending to not notice the stink coming from my sweet baby boy's bottom! And I was not upset with my darling husband for passing said stinky child to me and insisting I change the bottom before leaving the child...I would never willingly drop off a dirty bottom to our church nursery!

While playing at the park this week, Levi had to go to the bathroom, but flip out at the sight of the inside of the outhouse. I did not proceed to take him to hide behind some large trees and allow him to pee on the ground. That would be disgusting and I did not do that!

While lounging on the couch on Sunday evening, engrossed in the 2 hour episode of Desperate Housewives (which I don't watch such immoral garbage) I did not reach a new level of couch potato happiness when I realized that The Bachelorette is starting TONIGHT..because of course I do not watch such immoral garbage...NOT ME!!

So, there you have it. My first ever Not Me, Monday! I've loved reading MckMama's posts on Mondays, and thought I would give it a whirl.
Is there anything YOU'D like to confess to NOT doing this week??? Bring it on!

Run, Tonya, Run!

I never, ever, never, not in my 30 years on this earth, ever thought I would say this, but....

I've been running! Umm...well, jogging, maybe is a better word.

If you know me at all, you should know what a statement I've just made. Whenever asked (although, never asked because, let's face it, I don't even look like a runner) if I ran, my response was always, "Only if I'm being chased!" and since I don't think I've ever been chased, one can easily deduce that I don't run...until now.

It started in the pre-school room at church...isn't that where all great things get their beginnings? A friend was trying to put together a team for the Race for the Cure in Detroit, and asked if I was interested. My friend, and our Pastor's wife, Anne, asked if I'd be interested in starting to run and train for it. Well, I just smiled and nodded and gave it no more thought. But Anne, doesn't know me well enough to know how clueless I am, and she was persistant in getting me running! She even went out with the boys and I for a day of shopping, showing me the gear that would make me a great runner, and gave me a training program to help me get started...and believe it or not, I did get started.

I'm on my 8th week of running, which consists of running for 4 minutes, walking for a minute for 30 minutes. Here's the amazing parts 1) I CAN do it! and 2) I LOVE it! I haven't missed a day yet, I've even run in the rain a few times, gotten up early, and run on treadmills in hotel rooms to keep up with the schedule. I'm not really very fast yet, my pace is about a 10min/mile-walking and running, and I'm not trying to be faster yet, but just be able to run the whole time I need to. We're actually not going to be doing the race for the cure, but I probably will do a race or two this summer, just to say I've been in a race!

So, I'm wondering, if I never would have believed before that I would be running FOR FUN, and loving it...what else have I been limiting myself on??

What about you? Is there something you do that you never thought you would do, or something that you don't think you will ever do, but would like to try sometime??

Wordless Wednesday

To Blog or Not To Blog

So, it's been well over 5 months since I've last posted anything on this blog. It's certainly not due to a lack of excitement around here...with my 2 crazy kids and zany hubbs, there's almost always something to post about. Chris and I have even been on a cruise since my last post!
The main reason for my hiatus is because I've been evaluating the purpose of a blogging in general, and more specifically, the purpose of my own blog. Some of the blogs that I read are truly open books into the lives of the bloggers, others are dedicated to the bloggers triumph over trials, and a few are merely for entertainment purposes.
I've decided that I'm going to make my re-entry into the blogosphere, mostly for the purpose of keeping my own journal of all things happening in my life right now. I'm not going to worry or focus on how many people are reading my blog, and what they are thinking about what I have to say...which is a huge temptation for me, to "write what will make me look good...or look like I have it all together...or what I KNOW will make people laugh".
What you will basically read as you visit my blog..daily..weekly...or well, maybe you'll never come back, will be a glimpse into my life..spiritually, as a mom, a wife and a friend, and all the other "hats" I wear. (Although I don't literally wear hats, because unfortunately, I cannot pull them off!)
So, if you keep reading, I hope you enjoy sharing MY journey as I navigate through the 30 somethings, parenting and life in general!

Happy Birthday Levi!!

3 years ago today, (well, today when I was writing this) I was lying in a hospital bed at Huron Valley hospital, nervously awaiting the arrival of our first baby. We knew he would be a boy, and we knew his name would be Levi. We never could have guessed the joy this sweet boy has brought into our lives.
He was born at 6:07pm on November 3oth, 9lbs 10oz. A big chunky, healthy, beautiful boy. It does not seem like 3 years have passed since that day, but I'm sure it never feels that way.
In October, I posted 12 things I love about Mason, because he was 12 months old...so here are 12 things about Levi that I love (I thought about doing 36, but who wants to read that many??)
1. He loves to sing...he sings all the time, "As the Deer", "You're Enough for Me", the alphabet song, the list goes on and on...
2. He loves to play instruments. He makes drums out of anything he can, and he loves the drummer at our church, Mr. Matt. He plays Chris' keyboard whenever he can
3. He never crawled until his 1st birthday party. He did an army crawl for 12 months and on the day of his first birthday party, he picked himself up and crawled around the house.
4. He's only 3 years old and has already been in Oregon, Washington, North Carolina, Missouri, and all the states in between..he is a well-traveled little boy
5. Levi is a 100% daddy's boy, and I love that! (OK, sometimes I am slightly jealous of this fact)
6. He recognizes Michael Phelps when he's on Tv, even if he's not swimming...we were olympic obsessed this summer
7. He was in the 90th% at birth and is now in the 10th!
8. He's 3 years old and wears size 18month clothes!!
9. For the most part, he's a great big brother...for the most part
10.He can say the entire "Pledge of Allegiance"...which I can't even spell
11.He loves to read books, his favorite is a book called "HO HO HO Tucker", which is about a dog named Tucker (which is our dogs name)
12.He leaves a lasting impression on people...sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always memorable.

I leave you with some pictures of my sweet Levi, I love this boy!!! I can't wait to see how God will use his love of music, or even if that love will stick around.

How God's working on me...

I have been convicted over the past week about the words I speak. I mean, majorly convicted. In one of those things that only God can do, our message on Sunday was all about the words we speak! Saturday night I was asking Chris where the passage that says "out of your mouth your heart speaks", or something. Can you imagine on Sunday when up on the screen pops Matthew 12:34 "...Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks..." can you just see me slinking further down into my chair as I feel God working on my heart?
I do not keep a close reign on my words, I hate to admit this, but I love to gossip. I am also extremely sarcastic, and I love to get a laugh (you're not surprised, are you?). The combination of gossip, sarcasm, and "humor" sometimes lead my words to be less than desirable.
One of the best examples of this is the way I talk about my children. And a very specific example comes from our small group on Thursday night. Someone asked me how the boys were and my immediate response was "annoying, but good". A while later we were marveling at how cute another group baby is and I said, "Oh I love this stage, then they get to my boys age and YUCK!"
I don't really mean those things. I love being a mom, I really do. And I love my boys, and all that they are. When I say things like that and hold it up to Matthew 12:34, I feel a need to do a heart check. If what comes out of my mouth is truly a reflection of my heart, then "change my heart O' God.
Another example of this is the way I talk about Chris. So often I say things to get a laugh or out of pure sarcasm, but they in no way show him respect or are uplifting to him. I always assume that people know I'm being sarcastic, but lately I've found that's not always the case. Again, I love my husband, I'm proud of him and proud to be his wife. But my words aren't always showing that.
I don't know if you've ever experienced a Sunday where you just know God is speaking to you, but oooo it is uncomfortable. And after that experience I feel so much more accountability to think that what I'm saying is a reflection of what my heart is, and to keep my words in check.
If you want to read more about this topic, some other verses that have been speaking to me are:
Matthew 12:34-37
James 3:1-12
James 4:11-12
Ephesians 4:29